teen pregnancy

[ravevampyre]

My best friend just got pregnant by accident. She is only 15, almost 16. She doesn't have a very healthy body and she is dealing with depression and has had two suicide attempts in less than 6 months. She wants to abort the baby, but my friends and I are all having a hard time getting money, including her boyfriend. Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you.

[xstatic]

Don't abort. Inform her of adoption. She thought she was responsible enough to have sex, then she's responsible enough to go through with her descision. DO NOT encourage the abortion. Abortions are extremely expensive. If you get it in her head that this is the wise descision and she can't afford it, she may end up trying to do the abortion herself IE - coathanger, whathave you. This being said especially if she has an already established history of self-mutilation. Also it's important to know that this method can kill you.

I went through a teen pregnancy. I checked out all of my options. This is actually an opportunity for your friend to clean up. There is a lot of government support. There are a lot of programs. Help her by guiding her through these resources. Abortion - IMO - is for irrisponsible p.ussy's.

[abrannan]

I'm not going to say whether or not she should abort. It's certainly not an easy decision one way or another. What she does need to do is get some help, and I mean serious professional help. What you've indicated here is that she has a history of depression and self-abuse. The added stresses and pressures of either pregnancy or abortion can have drastic consequences for her, and she needs to make sure that she has the support structure in place to help her through this situation. Good places to start (if she doesn't want to go to her parents, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that option) can be a minister, school guidance counselor, or even a teen pregnancy or depression hotline. She shouldn't make any decision until she is fully aware and educated on her options and the consequences of those options.

[muppetdance]

How are her parents? Are they supportive or what? She's 16, so unless they'd totally freak and like, kill her, talking to her folks might be a good idea.

Has she been to a doctor yet? This is also something that should be done, regardless of whether she decides to go through with the pregnancy and

Yes, abortions are expensive, but so is being pregnant. Abortion is still legal, and pregnancy isn't for everyone. I respectfully disagree with xstatic that "abortions are for P.ussy's". IMO sometimes they're the right choice, sometimes not...but at any rate, it's still her choice.

At any rate I have to agree with Abrannan on this one and reitterate that she needs to be educated on ALL of her options before she makes a decision. There are a lot of groups out there that can help her!

[The Charming Canuck]

I think with her being depressed and all that having an abortion would hgave more of a negtive effect on her thna if she chooses to go thru with the pregnancy. I knwo quite a few people the have had abortions. You never hear about the after words. My best friend and his ex girlfriend had one and neither of them felt good about it and they both feel very sad for it and guilty. I have to agree with xstatic on this. Abortion increases your chances of getting breast cancer, can put you into a state of depression(father than she already is), and can cause scarring. My cousin only has one child and it is because right befroe she got pregnant with ther she had han an aboriton and after she was born she found out that it was impossible to have any more children for her. Here is a link on facts about abortion. www.abortionfacts.com/effects/effects.asp I really feel for her but she should either
1 be on birth control
2 used a condom or diaphram or
3 abstinence
There are a lot of people out there that can't have kids I really feel that you are being selfish with out looking at all the facts about abortion. Planned parent hood doesn't tell you about the negative effects on an abortion. Also here is a link on the devlopment of her baby www.wprc.org/trimester1.phtml

[psisar]

Wow... abortions in Canada are free if you're under 19. Out of curiosity, how much does one cost?

Anyways.

wings said:

I really feel for her but she should either
1 be on birth control
2 used a condom or diaphram or
3 abstinence
There are a lot of people out there that can't have kids I really feel that you are being selfish with out looking at all the facts about abortion.

I would really like to know how any of these methods would help since she's already pregnant. Suggesting forms of birth control is going to be useless at this point.

Pregnancy isn't for everyone, ESPECIALLY at 15. It's unfair and ignorant for you to say one is selfish for considering abortion, especially at such a young age. Just because one person can't have children in who's out of their teens means a 16 year old should? That's lame. How do you expect a 16 year old to support a child. They can't without assistance. How do you expect a 16 year old to provide the supportive environment a baby needs to mature and develop. They can't. How do you expect a 16 year old to finish school, go to college, and lead a productive life while trying to take care of a child. Not impossible, but damn hard. There's enough unwanted children in this world, why bring in another.

I thoroughly believe that the mother needs to decide what's best for HER. If she thinks with the combined help of her boyfriend and her parents she can have a baby, great. If she doesn't, maybe she should consider abortion. From the sounds of it she needs to work on taking care of herself first before she can take care of a child (I don't mean that to sound rude)

Accidents happen. That's why abortion exists. being responsible enough to have sex and being responsible enough to care for someone for 18 years are two entirely different things.

[xstatic]

I really find it sad and apalling that you didn't consider adoption in your answer at all Sarah. You know... as scarry as it sounds, I MIGHT know what I'm talking about on this one. I need to get thef**k outta this thread now.

[muppetdance]

psisar said:

Wow... abortions in Canada are free if you're under 19. Out of curiosity, how much does one cost?

Anyways.

wings said:

I really feel for her but she should either
1 be on birth control
2 used a condom or diaphram or
3 abstinence
There are a lot of people out there that can't have kids I really feel that you are being selfish with out looking at all the facts about abortion.

I would really like to know how any of these methods would help since she's already pregnant. Suggesting forms of birth control is going to be useless at this point.

Pregnancy isn't for everyone, ESPECIALLY at 15. It's unfair and ignorant for you to say one is selfish for considering abortion, especially at such a young age. Just because one person can't have children in who's out of their teens means a 16 year old should? That's lame. How do you expect a 16 year old to support a child. They can't without assistance. How do you expect a 16 year old to provide the supportive environment a baby needs to mature and develop. They can't. How do you expect a 16 year old to finish school, go to college, and lead a productive life while trying to take care of a child. Not impossible, but d**n hard. There's enough unwanted children in this world, why bring in another.

I thoroughly believe that the mother needs to decide what's best for HER. If she thinks with the combined help of her boyfriend and her parents she can have a baby, great. If she doesn't, maybe she should consider abortion. From the sounds of it she needs to work on taking care of herself first before she can take care of a child (I don't mean that to sound rude)

Accidents happen. That's why abortion exists. being responsible enough to have sex and being responsible enough to care for someone for 18 years are two entirely different things.

Amen

[abrannan]

wings said:

I think with her being depressed and all that having an abortion would hgave more of a negtive effect on her thna if she chooses to go thru with the pregnancy. I knwo quite a few people the have had abortions. You never hear about the after words. My best friend and his ex girlfriend had one and neither of them felt good about it and they both feel very sad for it and guilty. I have to agree with xstatic on this. Abortion increases your chances of getting breast cancer

False Induced abortion: Several studies have provided very strong data that induced abortions have no overall effect on the risk of breast cancer. Also, there is no evidence of a direct relationship between breast cancer and spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) in most of the studies that have been published. Scientists invited to participate in a conference on abortion and breast cancer by the National Cancer Institute (February 2003) concluded that there was no relationship. A recent report of 83,000 women with breast cancer found no link to a previous abortion, either spontaneous (stillbirth) or induced.

Remember that this is from the National Cancer Society, who has a vested interest in keeping you free from cancer. If crossing the street was a risk factor for Breast Cancer, they'd tell you. Having a baby (and breastfeeding) reduce your risk, but abortions do not increase your risk.

, can put you into a state of depression(father than she already is)

So can pregnancy

, and can cause scarring.

As opposed to the episiotomy scars and stretch marks of pregnancy? Not to mention C-sections.

My cousin only has one child and it is because right befroe she got pregnant with ther she had han an aboriton and after she was born she found out that it was impossible to have any more children for her. Here is a link on facts about abortion. www.abortionfacts.com/effects/effects.asp

<sarcasm.Now that's a non biased site</sarcasm> Nothing like dressing up biased information under the guise of presenting fact. It's why I can't watch broadcast news anymore.

Why don't we try a little more impartial source?

I really feel for her but she should either
1 be on birth control
2 used a condom or diaphram or
3 abstinence

Well, aside from the fact that we know option #3 wasn't used, are we 100% sure she wasn't using some form of BC? Obviously it's most likely she didn't, but there are failure rates on forms of BC for a reason.



Abortion debates aside, there is one key point I want to make. Your friend is in no mental shape to make a qualified, informed decision about abortion at this point in time. She needs mental health counseling, and she needs to see a doctor about her physical health. All other considerations are secondary to that. Whether or not the baby is born is irrelevant if she decides to take her life in the next nine months, or has an undiagnosed complication in her pregnancy. It's your duty as her friend to make sure that you do everything you can to help her get the help to take care of herself, first and foremost.

[psisar]

xstatic said:

I really find it sad and apalling that you didn't consider adoption in your answer at all Sarah. You know... as scarry as it sounds, I MIGHT know what I'm talking about on this one. I need to get thef**k outta this thread now.

I didn't mention it because you already did. Personally (this is just my opinion, I don't expect anyone to agree with me) I don't believe that you should bring a child into the world if you're not ready to care for them. There's already so many children waiting to be adopted, and it's sad to see children jumping from foster home to foster home waiting for a permanent family.

Another reason I didn't mention it in this particular instance was I don't think it would have any positive psychological effect on ravevampyre's friend, if anything I think it would be one of the more traumatizing options in this case.

As scary as it sounds... I might know what I'm talking about too.

[abrannan]

Okay, so before we all start grabbing our pitchforks and torches, I'm gonna go ahead and lock this thread. I think we've had enough representation on all sides of the issue that ravevampyre can choose from the presented options, and too much further "debate" is bound to create a lot of bad blood (myself included, I'm not too proud of the tone in my prior post, I like to keep it more clear-headed than that). This is a very passionate topic, dealing with very entrenched beliefs that we aren't going to be able to solve here.