Post by talon on Oct 9, 2006 6:04:52 GMT -5
hey everyone, sorry its been so long since my last decent post. I hope everyone is doing well and working hard to reach their goals.
the reason for my post today is that I am kinda at a loss, as some of you know already I have major problems with my parents, for those of you who dont here is a quick run down.
my life took a pretty bad turn for the worse about two years ago, I fell in with a bad crowd when my grandfather died. long story short my family bailed me out and gave me a place to stay for a couple months untill I was able to get back on my feet.
my grandfather left me some money and my father demanded repayment for the room he lent me and my wife and for the food (I can understand the repayment, that isnt the issue) however the amount he asked for was way to much, 6000 for 2.5 months.... anyways I paid him because he really helped me out of a jam. ever since then though its been one thing after another with him. he managed to weasle my grandfathers truck from me and then sold it, he is constantly asking to borrow things that never get returned and they only ever contact me when they need somthing any more.
a bout three months ago we came up short for rent, I asked my dad to give me the money we needed out of what he owes me (it has been over a year since he made any form of payment, he owes me over 8K) and he refused.
I have become more asertive with them over the passed few months, I have turned them down when they ask for free rides and when they ask for money but now I just dont know what to do.
if you have read this far I thank you and ask you to continue reading, any advice will be welcome.
I came home late tonight, 12:30 ish, and I had a message on my answering machine. my little sister (13) had called with my parents coaching her in the background asking to borrow my colman stove because they are about to lose power and need a place to cook.
they have been selling off all their possessions but they are really stupid when it comes to money, they just baught a rabit, they keep to cats and a chinchilla, all those pets require money to keep but they dont seem to care.
the main reason that I am having an issue is because I know my family, they know I would turn my father or mother away so they are using my little sister who cant fend for herself to get what they want. I know I cant just give in and my wife and I are just scraping by right now as it is so we cant help them with money.
winter is coming, its already getting below freezeing at night but I wont alow them to come live with me because I know what would happen if I do.
I feel that I know what I have to do, I have to seperate myself from them, they are sinking fast and if I let them they will drag my wife and I down with them.
on the same note how can I tell my family I dont want to see them any more? truth be told I dont want to see them ever again. I know that they made their own decisions and they have to live with the concequences of those decisions but how do you go about telling the people who raised you such a thing?
I really dont know what to do and I am afraid that if things keep up the way they are I am going to break down and help them again (even if I cant aford to)
here is the situation in point form for review
1. my parents owe me alot of money
2. they only contact me when they want/need somthing (they even forgot my birthday)
3. they want to borrow one of my colman camping stoves
4. they never return what they borrow
5. they are about to lose power to their place
6. they already have lost their phone (they use a pay phone to call me)
7. I dont feel right leaving my little sister out in the cold this winter
8. I wont let them live with me
9. my dad is an alchy and my mom is a relgious zelot (bad spelling sorry)
its quite a problem and I just dont know how to deal with it, they expect me to drop off the stove as soon as I can but I dont even want to go over to their house because I know they are going to ask for somthing and I have a real problem saying "no" to them.
sorry to just dump this on you guys and gals but can anyone help me? I am a grown man and I shouldnt be having this problem but I have learned from my past mistakes so instead of keeping it bottled up and trying to deal with it alone I am asking for help.
again I apologise for this I am just really really upset right now and dont know where to turn, I will understand if no one wants to get involved. its currently 4:00AM here and it dosent look like I will be getting much sleep tonight.
I will leave it at that for now.
best wishes all.
the reason for my post today is that I am kinda at a loss, as some of you know already I have major problems with my parents, for those of you who dont here is a quick run down.
my life took a pretty bad turn for the worse about two years ago, I fell in with a bad crowd when my grandfather died. long story short my family bailed me out and gave me a place to stay for a couple months untill I was able to get back on my feet.
my grandfather left me some money and my father demanded repayment for the room he lent me and my wife and for the food (I can understand the repayment, that isnt the issue) however the amount he asked for was way to much, 6000 for 2.5 months.... anyways I paid him because he really helped me out of a jam. ever since then though its been one thing after another with him. he managed to weasle my grandfathers truck from me and then sold it, he is constantly asking to borrow things that never get returned and they only ever contact me when they need somthing any more.
a bout three months ago we came up short for rent, I asked my dad to give me the money we needed out of what he owes me (it has been over a year since he made any form of payment, he owes me over 8K) and he refused.
I have become more asertive with them over the passed few months, I have turned them down when they ask for free rides and when they ask for money but now I just dont know what to do.
if you have read this far I thank you and ask you to continue reading, any advice will be welcome.
I came home late tonight, 12:30 ish, and I had a message on my answering machine. my little sister (13) had called with my parents coaching her in the background asking to borrow my colman stove because they are about to lose power and need a place to cook.
they have been selling off all their possessions but they are really stupid when it comes to money, they just baught a rabit, they keep to cats and a chinchilla, all those pets require money to keep but they dont seem to care.
the main reason that I am having an issue is because I know my family, they know I would turn my father or mother away so they are using my little sister who cant fend for herself to get what they want. I know I cant just give in and my wife and I are just scraping by right now as it is so we cant help them with money.
winter is coming, its already getting below freezeing at night but I wont alow them to come live with me because I know what would happen if I do.
I feel that I know what I have to do, I have to seperate myself from them, they are sinking fast and if I let them they will drag my wife and I down with them.
on the same note how can I tell my family I dont want to see them any more? truth be told I dont want to see them ever again. I know that they made their own decisions and they have to live with the concequences of those decisions but how do you go about telling the people who raised you such a thing?
I really dont know what to do and I am afraid that if things keep up the way they are I am going to break down and help them again (even if I cant aford to)
here is the situation in point form for review
1. my parents owe me alot of money
2. they only contact me when they want/need somthing (they even forgot my birthday)
3. they want to borrow one of my colman camping stoves
4. they never return what they borrow
5. they are about to lose power to their place
6. they already have lost their phone (they use a pay phone to call me)
7. I dont feel right leaving my little sister out in the cold this winter
8. I wont let them live with me
9. my dad is an alchy and my mom is a relgious zelot (bad spelling sorry)
its quite a problem and I just dont know how to deal with it, they expect me to drop off the stove as soon as I can but I dont even want to go over to their house because I know they are going to ask for somthing and I have a real problem saying "no" to them.
sorry to just dump this on you guys and gals but can anyone help me? I am a grown man and I shouldnt be having this problem but I have learned from my past mistakes so instead of keeping it bottled up and trying to deal with it alone I am asking for help.
again I apologise for this I am just really really upset right now and dont know where to turn, I will understand if no one wants to get involved. its currently 4:00AM here and it dosent look like I will be getting much sleep tonight.
I will leave it at that for now.
best wishes all.