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Post by Spooty Biscuit on May 2, 2006 20:29:05 GMT -5
Every now and then, we all have a day where we just need a really good laugh to keep us going. So that's what this thread's for. Post any jokes you have here so that those of us who need a good laugh can have one! They can be corny "why did the chicken cross the road" type jokes or more serious types (Serious jokes, talk about oxymoronic. Anyway, you know what I mean), long or short, whatever (Just please try to keep anything offensive out). I'll start with some good old corny ones... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- How can you tell that fish love baseball? They have 20,000 leagues under the sea. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Alright, now it's your turn! Have fun, and give us all a good laugh!  |
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Post by ImpFreak7 on May 2, 2006 21:45:42 GMT -5
A man walks into a bar and says, "ouch!".  |
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Post by Spooty Biscuit on May 2, 2006 22:36:16 GMT -5
Only kinda a joke, but...
What do cows drink?
How many people said milk? Think again.
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xstatic
Spam Cop
100 Hours Achieved!! ('06, '07)
Happily Hardcore
Posts: 3,973
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Post by xstatic on May 2, 2006 22:43:09 GMT -5
If I posted my jokes I would be banned. XD
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Grant.
I post too much
fighting mediocracy
Posts: 2,563
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Post by Grant. on May 3, 2006 13:20:32 GMT -5
If I posted my jokes I would be banned. XD qft |
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Post by Misery on May 3, 2006 19:01:03 GMT -5
If I posted my jokes I would be banned. XD >_> Same. |
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Post by Spooty Biscuit on May 3, 2006 21:16:07 GMT -5
No one has any good jokes for this thread? Geez... Gimme a second, I'll come up with something...
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Post by The Charming Canuck on May 4, 2006 0:09:27 GMT -5
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs and the bar tender says to the pirate "you have a steering wheel between your legs" and the pirate says "Aye and their drivin me nuts"
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Pyrochaos
Challenge Mode
Rapscallion
How dirty girls get clean.
Posts: 704
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Post by Pyrochaos on May 4, 2006 9:45:15 GMT -5
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over.
A: Doughnuts
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Post by psisar on May 4, 2006 10:24:40 GMT -5
Why did the pirate go to the arcade?
To play D-D-Arrrrrrr.
(I suck)
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xstatic
Spam Cop
100 Hours Achieved!! ('06, '07)
Happily Hardcore
Posts: 3,973
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Post by xstatic on May 4, 2006 10:29:49 GMT -5
Q: Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?
A: She wanted everyone to be able to read her lips.
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xstatic
Spam Cop
100 Hours Achieved!! ('06, '07)
Happily Hardcore
Posts: 3,973
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Post by xstatic on May 4, 2006 10:39:55 GMT -5
there is a bar at the top of the empire state building and there are two guys and the bartender there. the first guy suddenly says, " did you know that if you jumped off this tower that when you reached the tenth floor the winds would direct you back into a window of the building?" the other man says "yeah right" then the first man gets up and jumps off the building, when he reaches the tenth floor sure enough he flies through the window. The man rides an elevator back up to the top of the building and says "told you" then the other man is like " thats probably just a one time fluke!" then the first man jumps off the building again and reaches the tenth floor and the winds fly him into the same window, he comes back up to the top and says "see told you" then the second man says "ok i guess it works" then the second man jumps off the building. he reaches the tenth floor and keeps falling then hits the ground with a splat. the bartender then walks up to the first man and says, " you know superman you’re a jerk when your drunk!"
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talon
Standard Mode
Posts: 207
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Post by talon on May 4, 2006 14:56:08 GMT -5
I like this one even though its old.
a panda walks into a high class restaurant and sits down at a table, the waiter comes over to take the panda's order, he days "I will have the garden salad and a glass of water" the waiter nods and a little while later serves the panda his order. the panda eats all his food and drinks the water, he then stands up and pulls out twin desert eagle hand guns and proceeds to shoot everyone in the building. the waiter, gasping for breath, whispers to the panda "why?" the panda looks at him and says "I am sorry, I am a panda, its what I do." the waiter drags himself over to the bookshelf and manages to get a dictionary down, he turns to the word panda and it reads:
pan·da (plural pan·das)
noun
Definition:
1. large black-and-white Chinese mammal: a large mammal with bold black-and-white markings, including black patches over the eyes. Native to: central China. eats shoots and leaves.
the waiter dies laughing.
ya its kinda dark but I found it really funny.
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Post by The Charming Canuck on May 4, 2006 19:31:57 GMT -5
At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing
organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best
bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."
Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers
of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a Bud."
Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt. Give me ein
Becks, ya ist der real King of beers, danke."
Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke
with ice and lemon? Tanks."
The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their
faces.
Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"
Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I!"
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Post by SlowlyWasADemon on May 4, 2006 20:43:34 GMT -5
Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma?
Not today, honey, we already dug her up three times this week.
Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Well throw some more gasoline on him then.
Hehe. =)
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