Where do I begin?

[fallonmarie]

Hi everyone. I found this site in about December when I had ballooned up to 140 lbs. (don't get mad at the word choice, I know 140 isn't that much) and I decided something had to be done. I joined the forum, posted maybe 3 times and didn't come back.

I don't really know if anyone will read this but oh well, it feels good to write it all down... I don't like talking to people about it because they don't take me seriously. They say "oh, you're skinny what are you talking about?" and it's kinda annoying. Bear with me??

I have a small frame. I am about 5'6" but was meant to be thin! So when I was in high school and went from like 110 to 125 by senior year, people thought I was crazy for always wanting to lose weight. I never really knew how to go about doing it and never really had the resources and I would lose hope a lot. I didn't wanna continue to gain and gain and just get depressed and turn to food. Fortunately (hah) this past December I gained tons of weight and was suddenly 140. I hid it pretty well but even my mom realized at this point I didn't look right.

So at 140 at winter break (only a month long) I did nothing but play DDR 1-2 hrs a day and tried to actually watch what I ate, initially aiming for 1200 cal a day but as my metabolism increased, I ate more and more and STILL managed to lose 12 lbs. in about a month and a half. It was 10 lbs. in the first month, after that I got too happy and became kinda lazy.

Since summer break came I seriously thought I was gonna be at least 120 by now, but I am down to 125. Only I don't look like I did in high school. I'm flabby and I have a ton more cellulite ='( I shouldn't, seeing as how I actually exercise now! Besides DDR I lift weights a tiny bit and do crunches and stuff. So why am I flabby still?

People who are 125 lbs and 5'6" should look good! But I don't. I actually look horrible, I don't carry my weight well at all. There are girls who are 140 and 5'4" and look HOT, so why not me? It's all very discouraging and I get really depressed thinking about it. I feel like no matter how much I exercise, I won't get thin like I want to be. And I don't mean Lindsay Lohan or Mary Kate thin, I just mean that I want the thin body that will suit my frame.

I feel like a big loser because there are people in here trying to lose tons of weight and here I am complaining about being 125.. and believe me, I'm not trying to brag and I also hope I don't come off as having an eating disorder... I just know that I would be happy if this weight suited me but it doesn't. The rolls and cellulite and jiggliness tell me that, not some sort of eating disorder... but the thing is I try to hide it as much as I can and unless I went around naked to all my friends and family so they can see how I really look and why I get so upset, I don't think they'd ever stop brushing my complaints aside.

Guys, I'm not trying to complain about some made-up roll in my tummy or a faint dent in my thigh, I'm gross. And at 125 I feel like I should look great. 125 is such a low weight, why don't I look even "okay" yet? I'm so sick of having nothing to wear because my body doesn't look right in nice clothes. Flat chest, big hips, thighs and ass and a jiggly tummy don't look good in anything, really.

So I'm going to keep at it, and stop looking at all these fad diets that have sparked my interest ;lately. I try to remain hopeful... if I lost 10 lbs at my highest weight in such a short amount of time, surely I can do this. It's just so easy to lose hope, especially when you don't have support.

So hi, this was my long and probably ridiculous sounding intro. Sorry if I offended anyone or gave the wrong impression. I'm sick of hiding my body lately and I just wanna look *normal*

[iamjay]

You have the same problem as I did, add wieghts to your regimin. It'll tone your body.

I was fat when I wieghted 150 in OCT, I've been wieghtlifting ever since and i've lost 8 pounds and look a hell alot better.

P.S. I remember when you posted in Jan

[fallonmarie]

heh, do you really??? wow i have a horrible memory, go you!

so all i have right now is a 5 lb. weight and i'm trying to work with that. for a girl my arms are looking nice and muscular just from using what i can with the weight, so dou think thats enough for now? i'm broke at the moment, can't find a job anywhere and can't get money from my family because of horrible bad luck everyone's having with jobs, so a gym is not gonna happen. can you think of anything else i can do to tone up thats sorta... free? lol

[psisar]

From the sounds of it the problem isn't being overweight, just being undertoned. You don't need to lose weight, but I'm sure if you started going to a gym and building muscle definition you'd look really good... I haven't seen any pictures of you, of course, but this is just a suggestion. If you had a killed six pack and totally defined thighs you'd not only look better, you'd feel a lot better about yourself. FYI, I'm 5'6ish and used to weight over 190 lbs... now Im at 155 and would KILL to be 125. I'm jealous

To each their own though. Maybe try a different clothing style, or again, just try and start building muscle definition. Whether it be 5, 10, 40 or 100 lbs people want to lose, no one's going to discriminate here about how little - or how much - one wants to lose (As long as they stay healthy )

Good luck

[iamjay]

www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.htm

This page will show you how to workout the areas on your body that can help you out with that extra flab

I currently own half of a six pack

*Also* There's a set of dumbells that range from
2.5, 5, 10 wieghts that you can use to tone that body with the website I gave you. I think the set's only 30$

[abrannan]

You probably don't even need to invest in weights (at least at first). You can do a heck of a lot of toning with just bodyweight exercises (push ups, pull ups, squats, chair dips, sit ups, etc). The key is consistency. Set up a routine and follow it, religiously, 6 days a week. Anything that takes your body through a wide range of motions helps, too. Dance, martial arts, yoga, sports, all of it will help tone your muscles.

And please don't get down on yourself because you're starting from a different point than other people. This site is for everyone, whether they want to lose 5lbs or 500. The process and methods are the same, even if the people aren't. I know we tend to ask more questions about the motivations of anyone under 140lbs, but it's out of a concern for people's well being, not to say they don't belong here.

[fallonmarie]

psisar said:

From the sounds of it the problem isn't being overweight, just being undertoned. You don't need to lose weight, but I'm sure if you started going to a gym and building muscle definition you'd look really good... I haven't seen any pictures of you, of course, but this is just a suggestion. If you had a killed six pack and totally defined thighs you'd not only look better, you'd feel a lot better about yourself. FYI, I'm 5'6ish and used to weight over 190 lbs... now Im at 155 and would KILL to be 125. I'm jealous

To each their own though. Maybe try a different clothing style, or again, just try and start building muscle definition. Whether it be 5, 10, 40 or 100 lbs people want to lose, no one's going to discriminate here about how little - or how much - one wants to lose (As long as they stay healthy )

Good luck

thank you for the reply.. i do seriously believe its more than just not being toned, however, because it's even hard to hide under various different clothing styles anymore. i don't fit into things i wore 1 year ago. my mom tries to tell me i grew up but cmon, i was 18, now i'm 19, i don't think my body changed sooo much in one year that i can never be the same weight again, especially when i see a lot of visible fat and cellulite! i dont knoooow

and for everyone in general, thanks so much for your help. i really didn't wanna come off the wrong way. cuz i can imagine how hard it is to believe that at my weight i need to lose weight to feel good about myself. i just have a really naturally small figure (unfortunately) so i don't think i'll look good again till i'm probably around 110-115 again. if you want i can show a picture!

but anyway, i am gonna try to do these exercises from that site and continue to try to tone up. and stop eating quesadillas with extra cheese for dinner like i did last night lol <3 thank you all

[psisar]

fallonmarie said:

and for everyone in general, thanks so much for your help. i really didn't wanna come off the wrong way. cuz i can imagine how hard it is to believe that at my weight i need to lose weight to feel good about myself. i just have a really naturally small figure (unfortunately) so i don't think i'll look good again till i'm probably around 110-115 again. if you want i can show a picture!

but anyway, i am gonna try to do these exercises from that site and continue to try to tone up. and stop eating quesadillas with extra cheese for dinner like i did last night lol <3 thank you all

Cheese is evil. I find dairy in general to be evil. But that's just me.

I'd recommend posting a picture. Start your own thread in the before and better section, it could help for motivation. Some of the stories will really get you going too... it's what started to motivate me. Post a new pic every few weeks to track your progress.

Another thing is if you're going to start working out for the purpose of gaining definition, toss the scale. Remember that muscle is more dense that fat, making it weigh more. Go by how you look and how you feel, not what the scale says

[legend of croft]

fallon my dear....did we go to highschool together? if so, let's play together!

[fallonmarie]

omg yes we did. when i deleted myspace i put your screen name on my buddy list but i never IMed you because i guess i just didn't know what to say. how weird to find you here =)

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i'm looking for pics to post now to show how far i came.. but im still struggling. it doesnt help that everytime i exercise now i have pain. i think i overworked myself. i don't think i'll ever look the way i want to... cuz i thought i would be there by now.

[legend of croft]

hah funny... that you added me and never imed.... you should come over sometime, i have doubles set up (cobalt flux and an ignition pad)

i have some pics they are going to be pretty devastating once i put them up in the photo section... never knew playing a video game could be so drastic on the way people percieve my looks.